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The Fart File

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THE COMMON FART

 

The Common Fart is the fart heard most often. It is a very close

relative of the "Ripper", but is released with less force. It is

usually heard in groups where people aren't yet comfortable with

farting amongst each other. Therefore, one person in the group

gets up some nerve and releases this common-sounding fart in such

a manner that everyone now feels comfortable with group flatulence.. Usually there is no smell with the Common Fart.

 

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THE ANXIOUS FART

 

The Anxious Fart is let in a place where someone does not want the

fart to be heard. You may have seen men and women in book stores

or grocery stores, or even on the street, letting these farts.

They are generally controlled, usually barely audible, and require

much skill to master.

 

 

 

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THE COUGHING FART

The Coughing Fart is one that the farter tries to cover up with a

cough. My dad used to let these farts all the time when he worked

at the Bingo Hall. He would stand at the back of the hall and

cough, just as a nice "common fart" was let. It can be embarrassing for the farter, and those around the farter, if the timing is off at all, or if the fart is longer than anticipated.

 

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THE WET FART

 

The Wet Fart is one that sounds quite juicy.

Quite often this fart is cause for alarm, and an indication that a

trip to the toilet is imminent.

 

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THE BLOWER

 

This fart is similar to the ripper, except it has a bit of a

hollow, windy sound to it. This is due to farter blowing all the gas out quickly. This fart will almost always get a laugh.

 

 

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TIGHT BUN FART

 

This fart is always recognizable. It sounds like the farter's buns were so tight that he/she was in pain while farting.

 

 

 

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THE RIPPER

 

 

One of the best farts around is The Ripper. It is loud, rough, and always raises an eyebrow or two. Characteristics of The Ripper often show up in other farts, but make no mistake - this fart is a single, powerful gas-bubble that comes screaming from the farter's butt.

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